A Touch of Romance

“There are people praying for you, Jason,” my friend told me solemnly and honestly. I wondered for a moment why people here would be praying for me in such a serious way. Maybe they thought I was a little edgy for them, a little too secular, a little too North American. Then I wondered if they thought my soul was in danger, perhaps because I listen to Garth Brooks sometimes and have an Anglican prayerbook on my shelf. After thinking some of these things out loud, my friend clarified what she had said, and this time there was no wondering about the meaning of her words. “No, they’re praying for you. Te quiere, literally, they want you – they like you .”

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. “Oh,” I mumbled, much like one mumbles when he is not watching where he is going and walks straight into a wall or corner and there is no where else to go. They want me. They’re praying for me. For a husband. For their husband.
What to think… what to think… what to think… There are a lot of things that come to mind when the idea of marriage, and specifically the idea of my marriage, pops up. And trust me, my being in Paraguay only makes me even more confused and even more uncertain as to what the future holds. Some things I know for sure, though:

1-It’s way too early in my time here to even be worrying about these things.
2-I didn’t come to Paraguay to find a wife. I came to serve God, Opa (Guarani for “it’s finished”), end of story.
3-I appear to most people up North and here, too, to be the perfect eligible bachelor missionary. Not only am I good looking, but I look holy, too.
4- Number 3 is mostly true- I’m eligible, a bachelor, and a missionary. But I’m not so holy or perfect as I act around other people.
5- When I finally get around to dating a girl, it will probably be after a long and serious friendship with her.
6- Be that as it may, number 5 comes only after a lot of prayer and fasting and seeking God’s will.
7-Whoever the girl is will know for sure what my intentions are. If I haven’t said anything to her officially, there’s nothing officially or importantly there.
8-I don’t want to break anyone’s heart -- mine, any girl’s, or God’s.

Casual dating isn’t an option for me in general or in the church here specifically. When people decide to become novio and novia, “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, in the Paraguayan church, they make a prompt and public social and spiritual commitment to marry each other sometime. Considering the culture, it’s not ironic that in Spanish, novio and novia also mean “groom” and “bride.” Whatever these relationships are, then, they are very quickly announced in front of the church and the plans for a wedding are very soon in the making. It may seem strange, but relationships go from friendships to engagements in one quick and giant (and perhaps sometimes too careless) jump. Dating relationships/engagements are only broken off with much pain and public demonstrations of remorse, and I know already a couple people my age who have had to go through such a well-known and difficult ordeal.

So, I’m certainly in no hurry to jump on the marriage wagon, especially here in Paraguay. I’m waiting on God and doing my best, as the Song of Songs suggests, to leave the passions of my love all alone in peaceful and unaware slumber until the mightily right day when comes the time to awaken and stir them up to life. Until that day, though, I’m an eligible bachelor missionary doing my best not to trample over anyone’s soft and precious heart. I’m treading softly and trying not to show too much interest in any one girl particularly, all the while learning a new language and culture and making new friends and so much more. It seems to me to be a big and dangerous undertaking, so I’d ask you to please pray for me. Just please, I ask you with all my heart, don’t pray for me.