Why I'm Catholic Now

Dear friends and family,

Here is a short synopsis of how I came to be Roman Catholic. It is an abbreviated version of the story of my conversion, and by no means represents all the myriad ways that God has worked in my heart and the countless doctrines with which I have wrestled, but it does offer a starting point for conversation. As many of you may know, I am more than happy to talk about it and to share about God's calling on my life. Just let me know, and we can get coffee or a meal for the longer story. Thanks, and God bless,

Jason



I am originally from Westfield Center, where I was blessed to have been raised in a Christian home. Growing up with both parents and five younger siblings in an evangelical church, I heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ preached often and learned of my need for a personal relationship with God. When I was in sixth grade, I realized my sin separated me from God; wanting to avoid the consequences of sin and be forgiven, I asked Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Savior. I trust that was when I first converted and began to live a life of faith.

At the age of 13, I took another step of faith and asked for baptism. At my evangelical church, this sacrament was only considered an outward sign and symbol of salvation's work already finished in my heart. It was tied to church membership and a public confession of faith, much like Confirmation in churches that baptize infants. I saw God's blessing for following His leading to baptism, though, even though not many people in my church were baptized as young as I was. The testimony I gave before my church in a public proclamation of faith gave me a dear community of encouragement and accountability throughout high school. God used my evangelical church to grow me spiritually in countless good ways.

College found me at Georgetown University in Washington, DC, a Jesuit school where I was committed to studying political science in preparation for law school and a life of public service. Before leaving home, though, I was genuinely worried that my faith would not be able to stand up to the pressures and temptations of college life. Georgetown is technically a Roman Catholic university, but very few students actually take their faith seriously. Shortly after arriving, however, I joined several interdenominational Christian fellowship groups for community and accountability. God worked through Bible studies, service opportunities, and fellowship with other Christian believers to protect me from losing faith and my Christian witness. My faith truly became my own at Georgetown, and, praise God, grace carried me through all four years.

It was at Georgetown that I first met Catholics who were serious about serving Jesus. Growing up, I had several Catholic friends who only attended Mass on Christmas and Easter. Their lack of understanding and living out of faith seemed to confirm the negative stereotypes that I had been taught at my Protestant church about Catholics. Thankfully, however, through interdenominational ministries at Georgetown, I came into contact with Catholic believers, and had the chance to see their faith manifested in lives of Christian witness before I even knew they were Roman Catholic. I was completely taken aback, for example, when I learned that a prayer partner in my freshman dorm, who shared my evangelistic concern for our lost friends, was a devout Catholic. I thank God, though, that the anti-Catholic stereotypes with which I had been raised melted away in the first few months at university.

My sophomore year I added a theology major focusing on biblical literature to my course of studies. The classes, taught from a secular and academic perspective, de-constructed as social and cultural commentary all the scriptures that I considered sacred and revealed by God. Faced with new (and unchristian) opinions of my Christian faith, I started to question what was essential to belief. Was a literal understanding of the Bible necessary? Could I ever really find the truth in a specific church, creed, or interpretation of the Bible? I was still actively involved in an interdenominational campus fellowship, so I was being exposed to the whole spectrum of Christian belief and practice. God was calling me to find Christian Truth; a Truth that I knew should not result in the plurality of sects and multiple interpretations of scripture. My Protestant convictions, however, told me that I was the abiter of my own truth and reality: that I could choose my denomination, my specific beliefs, and the way I wanted to follow God.

Junior year I had the chance to visit Israel for a semester of study abroad in the Holy Land. There, God worked in my heart in many ways. First, I was exposed to the beauty of liturgy and the importance of the Christian liturgical year. Concerning the liturgy of the Mass, I realized for the first time in Israel that I felt more comfortable and at peace in a Roman Catholic Mass than I did in an evangelical Baptist service. Living as a foreigner in a dangerous country far away from home, the words of scripture and ancient truth in the liturgy gave me the comfort and peace for which my soul hungered. Secondly, I had the first chance of my lifetime to really live out the liturgical year. Raised in an evangelical faith, we understood Lent as a papist practice, and were lucky if we got hear about the Resurrection on Easter morning. Being in Jerusalem, however, I took full advantage of the opportunities to celebrate Ash Wednesday, Lent, Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday, with the liturgical Protestant and Catholic communities in Jerusalem. I received ashes on Ash Wednesday from a Catholic Bishop in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, I fasted from meat during Lent for 40 days near the desert where Christ himself was tempted in the wilderness, I joined in with the throngs waving palm branches to welcome our Lord and King on his triumphal entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, I kept vigil in the Garden of Gethsemane on Maundy Thursday, I was kneeling at the sight of the true cross when the church bells rang out at 3:00 pm to remember Jesus' death on Good Friday, and I got up before dawn to remember our Savior's resurrection for a sunrise service at the Mount of Olives on Easter Sunday. I found that the experiences of Christian holy days strengthened immeasurably my faith in Christian Truth and my relationship with God.

It was also in Israel that I got to see and interact with churches of Orthodox and Catholic origins. These churches, many of them being in the Holy Land since the time of Christ and the apostles, claimed an authority of faith through apostolic succession from Jesus himself. Seeing the land of the scriptures, that I had studied eagerly as a Protestant, so closely tied to these apostolic churches and traditions, spoke volumes to me. I realized that in the land where Christ lived, the truth about Christ continued to be made manifest in these churches.


Returning to Georgetown for my senior year, I still was not convinced to become Roman Catholic. Although I wanted to believe in a sacramental understanding of reality (as a Protestant I believed only in symbols and faith), I still did not believe in the Real Presence in the Eucharist or the literal washing away of sins by baptism. My soul longed to trust Catholic doctrine and to believe God's use of physical objects as the means of grace for me, so I began to pray for faith to accept the Catholic understanding of the sacraments. A dear Catholic friend and mentor of mine was patient every step of the way to answer questions, and explain the significance of Catholic teaching. He encouraged me to go to a Catholic chapel on campus and spend time praying to the Blessed Sacrament, asking, "Jesus, is that you there?"


After much time spent praying in the Catholic chapel, I began to feel a peace and presence that I did not find in Protestant worship spaces. I began to spend more and more time there, going to prayer several times a week, and began genuflecting and crossing myself when I entered the chapel, out of respect for the Catholic tradition. Somewhere along the way, another friend shared with me the scriptural grounds for belief in the Real Presence and, thank God, by the end of my senior year I was a believer.


My senior year, I also took a course taught by an excellent professor and dedicated Jesuit priest on the teaching of Saints Augustine, Bonaventure, Anselm, and Aquinas . Explaining Catholic doctrine through the lens of these fathers and doctors of the Catholic Church, Fr. Fields showed me more and more the great continuity and treasure of faith passed on through the Roman Catholic Church. I realized that if these teachers were alive today, they would probably be Roman Catholic, and, as a Protestant, I would probably be at odds with them. I felt a growing longing to be united with the doctors and traditions of the Catholic faith, while the division caused by the Protestant Reformer seemed to make less and less sense to me. I remember one day trying to justify myself as a Protestant and to tell myself at what one point the Catholic Church "went wrong," so as to require the Reformation. I realized that I probably ought to become Catholic when I could not think of anything.


After Georgetown, I decided to spend some time doing missionary work as an English teacher in Paraguay. I went to serve with the evangelical denomination in which I was raised, believing that if my interest in Catholic faith continued throughout the year, it really was something from God and not something I was doing on my own. While at Georgetown, I was worried my conversion to Catholicism might be the result of peer pressure or my own pride, so I decided to give the choice a time of discernment in South America. There, I reckoned I would see (and indeed did) the worst stereotypes of Catholicism-- that is, Catholic faith polluted by folk traditions in a society where very few actually faithfully practiced their religion. The evangelical church where I served was full of ex-Catholics, all very eager to share their negative opinions of the Catholic Church. I wanted to make sure I got every perspective before I became Catholic.


I realized in Paraguay more than ever, though, that God was calling me to become Roman Catholic. Although much of what I saw in South American Catholicism was not good, I realized that the heart of the faith and the teaching of the Church was good and true. Although many Paraguayans are not faithful to the Church and the society in many ways has fallen fall short of God's ideal, the Church remains the Church and holds the fullest revelation of Jesus Christ for salvation in the world.


Upon return, I knew for certain that I had to join the Catholic Church. I began attending St. Francis Xavier, contacted Jenny Bonarrigo, and, after a few meetings with her and First Reconciliation with Fr. Hollis, was received into full communion with the Catholic Church on February 15. I praise God for the way He has worked in my heart along the way, and it gives me such great joy to consider how He's finally led me here. For years I have thought about becoming Catholic and imagined the joy of being able to share in the Holy Eucharist, and now it feels as if all the gifts of Heaven are mine through Jesus Christ and His Church.