I’ve been doing some things I don’t want to do lately. God let me know pretty clearly the other day that I’ve been wasting too much time online, so I reluctantly got rid of my laptop for a while. A friend has it now, and, while it was rough to see the trusty machine take a leave of absence, I’m fairly certain time spent away from the technology will do me, and my relationship with God and others, a pile of good.
God also showed me that I haven’t been wasting enough time with people. I often act as a loner, making my supper meals and spending free evenings all by my lonesome. As a small group leader who’s been called to get to know and mentor some underclassmen, this habit doesn’t bode well for me in building relationships. So, God told me that one way to hang out with these guys and be more sociable was to get a meal plan at the cafeteria.
At first, I was pretty surprised by God’s audacity to ask me to do such a thing. A senior who lives in a real townhouse with a meal plan? Sounds pretty pathetic. And the cost? Needless to say, it’s extravagant. And the distance from the cafeteria to my home? It’s nearly the length of a half-marathon. Still, for all my excuses, God was telling me to get a meal plan and visit the campus cafeteria.
So far, my trips to the cafeteria have been really enjoyable. I’ve run into tons of folks and have seen plenty of underclassmen. And the food? It’s a smorgasbord of roast beef and fresh spinach and cottage cheese and sweet potato and ice cream. Tuesday, as I was sitting and really taking pleasure from the abundance, flavor, and variety of food to which my post-cafeteria days had left me unaccustomed, I remembered the high price of the meal. Because God had convicted me so strongly to enlist in the cafeteria corps, however, it hit me that the meal was on Him. He had given me the funds to enlist in the meal plan, He had offered the incentive to enroll, and He had invited me to a ton of grand dinners this entire semester. I generally thank God for my meals before I eat, but it never hit me so strongly as it did Tuesday night that God really is the Provider and the One who invites me to dine with Him all the time. “Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.”
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Home Again, Home Again, Lickity Split
I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog, but I’ll have to plead the busyness that came with finals and the holiday season as an excuse for not writing. The last month of school last semester saw me crank out about 70 pages, a task that left me with small desire to write anything else. But, enough for excuses.
Over break, I had the chance to visit Florida with my parents. It was just me and them, as Luke was left in charge at home watching the other kids and Grandpa. We had a pleasant stay with my Uncle Bud and Aunt Karen in North Central Florida, a night away in St. Augustine, and a visit to the Moxleys at their beach-side condo in Boca Raton. It was a fitting vacation after the craziness of exams and papers. I had the chance to read a lot, delving into Donald Miller’s "Through Painted Deserts" and St. Therese of Lieseux’s autobiography. The first book was the story of a young Christian fellow’s journey across the country in an old Volkswagon Van in search of God and himself. While I appreciated the vivid descriptions of the American countryside and could identify with many of the questions Miller raised, I don’t ever plan on being a Christian hippy and I think some of the main character’s actions were downright irresponsible. St. Therese, on the other hand, presented a much different picture of faith. Only living through her 20s, the young woman knew from an early age that she wanted to be a nun like her older sisters. Therese’s story gave me several fresh ways to view my own faith and, while at times the autobiography portrayed Therese as being self-absorbed and spoiled, overall it showed a life wholly dedicated to Christ and a profound understanding of spiritual realities.
My parents and I returned to Ohio on Christmas Eve just in time to spend the evening with my dad’s family. It was a great chance to catch up with aunts and uncles and cousins over heaping plates of egg rolls and shrimp and pumpernickel bread with spinach dip. After the family gathering I attended midnight mass with Ryan and April, my recently engaged friends from high school. We went to the Catholic Church near Buckeye High School north of Medina- the one where my mother’s grandparents worshipped in the past and are buried today. My friends will be married there in June, so they went to become better acquainted with the church and to briefly visit with the priest who will counsel them and perform the ceremony. I went along to experience Christ in the liturgical service and to remember the Savior‘s birth “when half-spent was the light." I had heard about Catholic Christmas Eve services since my early childhood, growing up next door Polish Catholics who attended every year, but this was my first chance to attend. For many Catholics (and Protestants, for that matter), Christmas Eve and Easter are the only times each year they attend church. While this is a terrible shame, it is also a grand opportunity for the Church to reach out to nominal Christians. The Catholic priest at my midnight mass seized the opportunity to witness to many who perhaps had never taken the Gospel message seriously, and his homily was a challenging call to respond in faith to the incarnation invitation of relationship with God.
The day after Christmas I left with Luke for Chicago and then St. Louis. In Chicago I had the privilege of meeting up with Leigh and Jorie, friends from study abroad in Israel. It was fantastic to see my dear friends and the Windy City at the same time, and the extra day of travel before heading down to St. Louis was well worth the effort. Wednesday after Christmas we took off for St. Louis, where I had the pleasure of attending Urbana ’06, the largest missions conference of its kind. I went to Urbana intending to draw near to God and perhaps get a better sense for where He wants me to be after graduation. I had been telling people I was planning on doing missions and I hoped Urbana was the place where God would confirm or seriously call into question my intentions. There was a group of about 16 (of about 22,000 total attendees) from Georgetown who were able to attend the conference. We ate our meals together, stood and sat in the Rams Stadium for the large-group praise and worship and preaching together, and had the chance to share how God was working in our hearts through the teaching and programs of the Urbana conference.
The conference’s theme was on the whole of Ephesians and, needless to say, God showed up in many incredibly ways. I’d direct you to the Urbana website for specific teachings and transcripts, but in my own life God made a few things pretty clear. First, when I was looking for a divine lightning bolt to shock me into going somewhere specific next year, God spoke words already familiar to my heart. “He hath shewed thee, O man, what [is] good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God." While I was looking for specific ways to serve God, He showed me that I already know the right way to live my life. Wherever I’ll be at in the future, I know to “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.” These plain and simple commands, I’m fairly certain, are the ones I have difficulty living out each and every day. Whether I’m in Ohio or Kokomo, everything beyond living out my life for God and others in humility and love is just a matter of details.
Second, God confirmed in my heart the desire to go into missions for a couple years after Georgetown. This might make me sound like I think too much, but before Urbana I had been seriously wrestling with my own motives for wanting to go abroad in missions. Some of the questions I was (and still am, to a certain extent) asking myself: Am I being lazy by not getting a “real job” in the “real world”? Are missions just a way of me postponing real life for a couple extra years of irresponsibility? Am I spitting on God’s gift of my education and place of relative social power as a successful Gtown student by not going to law or graduate school straight away? Am I running away from the possibility of stability and relationship and marriage and family? Although these questions still challenge me, God’s given me a peace about my plans for next year. While I can’t say for sure where I’ll be, I can say God has opened the door in my heart for international missions. After I graduate in May and pay off my student loans in the summer, I’ll be in a place of financial and relational freedom and be able to go wherever God calls me. Without the restraints of a family or bills or anything else I could use as an excuse not to go, I’ll be able to partner with God in building the Kingdom anywhere He allows me to be. I’ll finally be able to say “yes” to the quiet voice I’ve heard calling my name at missions presentations and in sermons and at camp and through prayer. I’ll be able to say without reservation, “Here am I! Send me” when God asks me, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us” “to the end of the earth?” I’ll be able to answer the challenge God has met me with on several occasions to serve others in ministry and further the kingdom with concrete action and definitive plans. I’m excited to see God get a better hold of my life and shake me up and show me things I’ve never seen before as I seek to better serve Him with my life after graduation.
Over break, I had the chance to visit Florida with my parents. It was just me and them, as Luke was left in charge at home watching the other kids and Grandpa. We had a pleasant stay with my Uncle Bud and Aunt Karen in North Central Florida, a night away in St. Augustine, and a visit to the Moxleys at their beach-side condo in Boca Raton. It was a fitting vacation after the craziness of exams and papers. I had the chance to read a lot, delving into Donald Miller’s "Through Painted Deserts" and St. Therese of Lieseux’s autobiography. The first book was the story of a young Christian fellow’s journey across the country in an old Volkswagon Van in search of God and himself. While I appreciated the vivid descriptions of the American countryside and could identify with many of the questions Miller raised, I don’t ever plan on being a Christian hippy and I think some of the main character’s actions were downright irresponsible. St. Therese, on the other hand, presented a much different picture of faith. Only living through her 20s, the young woman knew from an early age that she wanted to be a nun like her older sisters. Therese’s story gave me several fresh ways to view my own faith and, while at times the autobiography portrayed Therese as being self-absorbed and spoiled, overall it showed a life wholly dedicated to Christ and a profound understanding of spiritual realities.
My parents and I returned to Ohio on Christmas Eve just in time to spend the evening with my dad’s family. It was a great chance to catch up with aunts and uncles and cousins over heaping plates of egg rolls and shrimp and pumpernickel bread with spinach dip. After the family gathering I attended midnight mass with Ryan and April, my recently engaged friends from high school. We went to the Catholic Church near Buckeye High School north of Medina- the one where my mother’s grandparents worshipped in the past and are buried today. My friends will be married there in June, so they went to become better acquainted with the church and to briefly visit with the priest who will counsel them and perform the ceremony. I went along to experience Christ in the liturgical service and to remember the Savior‘s birth “when half-spent was the light." I had heard about Catholic Christmas Eve services since my early childhood, growing up next door Polish Catholics who attended every year, but this was my first chance to attend. For many Catholics (and Protestants, for that matter), Christmas Eve and Easter are the only times each year they attend church. While this is a terrible shame, it is also a grand opportunity for the Church to reach out to nominal Christians. The Catholic priest at my midnight mass seized the opportunity to witness to many who perhaps had never taken the Gospel message seriously, and his homily was a challenging call to respond in faith to the incarnation invitation of relationship with God.
The day after Christmas I left with Luke for Chicago and then St. Louis. In Chicago I had the privilege of meeting up with Leigh and Jorie, friends from study abroad in Israel. It was fantastic to see my dear friends and the Windy City at the same time, and the extra day of travel before heading down to St. Louis was well worth the effort. Wednesday after Christmas we took off for St. Louis, where I had the pleasure of attending Urbana ’06, the largest missions conference of its kind. I went to Urbana intending to draw near to God and perhaps get a better sense for where He wants me to be after graduation. I had been telling people I was planning on doing missions and I hoped Urbana was the place where God would confirm or seriously call into question my intentions. There was a group of about 16 (of about 22,000 total attendees) from Georgetown who were able to attend the conference. We ate our meals together, stood and sat in the Rams Stadium for the large-group praise and worship and preaching together, and had the chance to share how God was working in our hearts through the teaching and programs of the Urbana conference.
The conference’s theme was on the whole of Ephesians and, needless to say, God showed up in many incredibly ways. I’d direct you to the Urbana website for specific teachings and transcripts, but in my own life God made a few things pretty clear. First, when I was looking for a divine lightning bolt to shock me into going somewhere specific next year, God spoke words already familiar to my heart. “He hath shewed thee, O man, what [is] good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God." While I was looking for specific ways to serve God, He showed me that I already know the right way to live my life. Wherever I’ll be at in the future, I know to “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.” These plain and simple commands, I’m fairly certain, are the ones I have difficulty living out each and every day. Whether I’m in Ohio or Kokomo, everything beyond living out my life for God and others in humility and love is just a matter of details.
Second, God confirmed in my heart the desire to go into missions for a couple years after Georgetown. This might make me sound like I think too much, but before Urbana I had been seriously wrestling with my own motives for wanting to go abroad in missions. Some of the questions I was (and still am, to a certain extent) asking myself: Am I being lazy by not getting a “real job” in the “real world”? Are missions just a way of me postponing real life for a couple extra years of irresponsibility? Am I spitting on God’s gift of my education and place of relative social power as a successful Gtown student by not going to law or graduate school straight away? Am I running away from the possibility of stability and relationship and marriage and family? Although these questions still challenge me, God’s given me a peace about my plans for next year. While I can’t say for sure where I’ll be, I can say God has opened the door in my heart for international missions. After I graduate in May and pay off my student loans in the summer, I’ll be in a place of financial and relational freedom and be able to go wherever God calls me. Without the restraints of a family or bills or anything else I could use as an excuse not to go, I’ll be able to partner with God in building the Kingdom anywhere He allows me to be. I’ll finally be able to say “yes” to the quiet voice I’ve heard calling my name at missions presentations and in sermons and at camp and through prayer. I’ll be able to say without reservation, “Here am I! Send me” when God asks me, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us” “to the end of the earth?” I’ll be able to answer the challenge God has met me with on several occasions to serve others in ministry and further the kingdom with concrete action and definitive plans. I’m excited to see God get a better hold of my life and shake me up and show me things I’ve never seen before as I seek to better serve Him with my life after graduation.
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